This post may contain affiliate links. This means I make a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Read full disclosure here.
You may have heard it many times before: men need respect. But how does a wife respect her husband? Should you respect your husband if he behaves in a way that is undeserving of respect? What if respecting your husband is hard? What if he isn’t loving you the way you need to be loved, how can you respect him? I have 3 amazing tips to share with you that will make it easier to live by the biblical command, “Wives Respect Your Husband”.
Men Need Respect Like Women Need Love
Women are innately designed to desire and need to be loved. After all, in the beginning, Eve was created for Adam. The woman was created for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:9)
Just as we have an innate desire to be loved, men have an innate desire to be respected. Clearly, men and women are wired differently. It is our responsibility as wives to understand that our husbands need to be respected just as much as we need to be loved.
Naturally, we may try to love our husbands the same way we receive love best. However, it is important to remember that loving him the way that we need will not meet his needs completely because he needs love in a different way.
It makes me think about children. All children need food. However, the way a newborn receives food is different than the way a 5 year old best receives food. They both need it, but the newborn best receives food by breast or even bottle.
The 5-year-old can feed themselves a variety of solid foods. While the 5-year-old may drink milk, the milk alone will not completely meet her needs because she needs food in a different way.
The best way that we can love our husbands is by respecting them. This is why we are biblically mandated to respect our husbands.
So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NLT
How Should Wives Respect Their Husbands?
Wives can show respect to their husbands in a variety of different ways. Respect is communicated with words and actions. Here are some ways that you can demonstrate respect for your husband:
Be Present
In some instances, he may not even want or need to talk. He may simply just want to be with you. If your presence alone does that job, that’s okay. If he wants to talk or do something, that’s okay too. Every man is different and every day is different. Be flexible and either way, be present.
RELATED: What You Should Know About the 5 Love Languages
Do What He Enjoys
Your husband values your friendship. As his wife, you have the opportunity to be his best friend. If this is the case, he will want to be side by side and shoulder to shoulder with you. He would love to engage in his favorite hobby or activity with you.
Ask for His Advice and Follow It
Men are problem solvers. When you ask him for his advice before making a decision, it shows him that you respect and value his opinion and wisdom. Bonus points if you actually take heed to his advice!
Compliment and Praise Him Publicly and Privately
Tell him how incredible he is. Remember the things about him that you fell in love with. Think about the things you love about him right now. Tell him! Do this in your alone time together AND compliment him in front of family, friends, and co-workers.
Hold Your Tongue
When you have disrespectful, unkind, or harsh words to say to your husband, hold your tongue. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Yes, this rule still applies in adulthood, and it can prevent a lot of unnecessary disagreements.
RELATED: How to Communicate Effectively with Your Husband
Write Him a Respect Note
This is a great idea from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in Love and Respect! Instead of writing your husband and love note, write him a respect note. Tell him the things that you respect about him. It can work wonders in your marriage!
Don’t Withhold Intimacy
Don’t withhold sex as a punishment. Intimacy with your husband is a way that you can respect him. A wife should not withhold sex because she is angry or because her husband isn’t doing what she wants him to do.
RELATED: How to Have a Happy Marriage
3 Incredible Tips for “Wives Respect Your Husband”
1. Respect Your Husband Out of Obedience to God
We should respect our husbands simply because God says to. As mentioned above, wives are biblically mandated to respect their husbands. If nothing else, we should demonstrate respect for our husbands because we want to please God.
Essentially, it’s not about your husband. It’s about you and your relationship with God. Obedience is key. God didn’t give stipulations or exceptions. The Bible clearly says “wives respect your husbands”.
So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NLT
2. Wives Respect Your Husband As Unto the Lord
Respecting your husband is a lot easier when you have the right heart. In Colossians, we are instructed to do things as unto the Lord. I understand that your husband is not God, but it is important that you respect him as unto God. Respect him as you would respect the Lord.
This is applicable to all areas of our lives. In all that we do, we do it for the Lord, rather than for people.
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Colossians 3:23 NLT
3. Remember There Are Benefits to Respecting Your Husband
There are benefits that come with respecting your husband. One of the main benefits is to finally get out of the cycle of needs being unmet.
What typically happens is a woman feels unloved so she disrespects her husband. The husband feels disrespected so he withdraws love from his wife. This goes on and on with neither of them getting their needs met.
When you respect your husband, you are taking that step off of the cycle! This is one of the benefits of respecting your husband. Maintaining a peaceful marriage, a happy home, and getting your needs met.
For some, it may take time for your husband to come around and meet your needs. While you are respecting your husband as unto the Lord and out of obedience to God, trust God to ensure that your needs get met. He will make sure you’re taken care of when you’re obedient to Him.
26For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. Ephesians 5:26 & 28
How to Respect Your Husband Even When You Feel He Doesn’t Deserve It?
This is a valid question. There may be instances when you feel that your husband doesn’t deserve respect. We all fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) This means, there may also be times when your husband may feel that you don’t deserve love.
These feelings do not justify disobedience to God. The best way to respect your husband even when you feel that he doesn’t deserve respect is to do it anyway.
As mentioned above, respect him as unto the Lord because you want to be obedient to God. While the benefits should not be the sole purpose for demonstrating respect, understand that God will meet your needs when you follow His commands.
This topic can be such a struggle in marriage but I love how you break it down and bring context to it because it really is so important for healthy marriage.
Thank you so much for your comment! 🙂 I agree, this is a very important ingredient for a healthy marriage.
I love these tips. I think we especially forget that there are many benefits to respecting our husband. God knew what he was doing when he gave us this command!
Thank you! I agree. I think we do forget. In some circles, the benefits are not even talked about. God is incredible and His plan is perfect!
Love this post! I have seen this break in the cycle in my own marriage time and again. Sometimes it’s him that makes the change, sometimes it’s me. But it always takes someone willing to make the change without the promise of reciprocation.
I love this! “Someone has to make the change without the promise of reciprocation.” Very well said! That’s humility at it’s finest.
Thanks for this great post. i will try the respect note.
Thank you for reading. I wrote a respect note and it was amazing!! My husband loved it. I’m sure yours will too!
This was such a great read! It is so very important for Christian wives to learn to respect their husbands in a Biblical way.
Thank you so much for your comment! Absolutely, I think it’s underrated yet so powerful!