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Are you looking for ways to improve your marriage by using The 5 Love Languages? Do you want to make sure that you and your spouse remain secure in one another’s love?
If so, keep reading because in this article I will explain everything you need to know about Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages.
Before I got married, I was very interested in the 5 Love Languages. When I read the book, the principles made so much sense to me. I practiced using the love languages in my platonic relationships.
When my husband and I got married, we had conversations about The 5 Love Languages. I’m so thankful that we already knew what our love language was and we committed using this information in our marriage.
Years later, we still speak one another’s love language! My husband frequently thanks me for speaking his love language daily. I’m thankful that he speaks mine.
I encourage you to practice speaking your spouse’s love language. I believe it is a definite asset to any marriage and relationship!
What Are The 5 Love Languages?
A love language is the way that you best communicate and receive love. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is an amazing book! It offers great information that will help you express love to your spouse effectively.
We all have emotional love tanks that need to be filled. In order to get our love tanks filled, we must speak one another’s love language.
When our love tank is full, we respond positively and we are more inclined to fill someone else’s tank. However, when our love tank is not full, we tend to respond in a more negative way. Empty love tanks can lead to withdrawal or even shutting down.
Everyone communicates love in at least one of these 5 languages. However, it is important to note that you and your spouse may speak different languages. It will be up to you to learn to speak his/her language.
Here are the five love languages with some examples:
Quality Time
Quality time is undivided, focused attention. It includes spending time doing things together.
- Going to the movies or out to dinner
- Going on a date
- Having fun at an amusement park
- Doing a hobby or an enjoyable activity together
- Having quality conversation
Receiving Gifts
A gift is something tangible that says “I was thinking of you” or “I remembered”.
- Something handmade
- A surprise treat (favorite drink, candy, or item)
- A meal
- Your presence
- A thoughtful holiday gift
Acts of Service
It is an Act of Service when you do something you know he/she would like you to do.
- Cooking dinner
- Changing a dirty diaper
- Washing dishes
- Filling up the gas tank
- Running an errand
- Helping get a task completed
Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation include compliments and words of appreciation which are powerful. Use words of affirmation publicly and privately.
- Compliments
- Love notes
- Encouragement
- “You look so handsome!”
- “Thank you so much for fixing the garage door.”
- “I really appreciate you!”
- “You can do this and I’m here to support you!”
Physical Touch
Physical touch can be nonsexual or sexual.
- Hugs
- Kisses
- Holding Hands
- Back rub
- Cuddling
- Sex
What is My Love Language?
There are a few different ways that you can determine what your love language is. You can also use these same methods to figure out what your spouse’s love language is as well.
Love Languages Quiz in the Book
If you have a physical copy of The 5 Love Languages , you can take the quiz at the end of the book. There is a Five Love Languages Profile for Husbands and Wives. This profile takes you through 30 questions and then leads you to identify how your love languages rank.
The Love Language Quiz
If you or your spouse prefers a quiz, hop online. You can answer brief questions that are centered around the 5 love languages.
Go to The Love Language Quiz on your device, and click on Start the Quiz. Select whether you are an adult, teenager or if you are taking the quiz for your child. You’ll then be asked to describe yourself as either “in a relationship” or as “single”.
You will then be prompted to answer “It’s more meaningful to me when…”. You will need to select 1 of 2 choices for each prompt. Once you complete the quiz, you will receive your results.
Final Thoughts on Love Languages:
Everyone communicates and expresses love in at least 1 of the 5 love languages. By nature we may express love in our own love language.
It is important to learn the love languages of our spouse and loved ones, in order to communicate love in the way they receive it. Speaking their language does wonders in relationships and marriage!
Click the video below to see examples of how to speak the five love languages.
