Often times as singles we take advantage of the concept of being single- as we should. Singleness is a time when we can go where we'd like, choose to eat out every night or stay late at work. We may have more free time than others and can make many choices without having to consult another. We should use this time to serve God and advance His kingdom. We should take Paul's advice in 1 Corinthians 7:34 "...The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit:"
I know that for me, I believed years ago, that since I was single I could do whatever I wanted to do and date whoever I wanted to date. Of course, I loved God and I wasn't plotting to go out and have sex with anyone, but emotionally, I was free game. I found myself flirting with multiple guys a day because I was single. I would give of myself emotionally to undeserving men. There was a season in my life where I thought, Hey, I'm young. I'm fly. I'm wanted. I'm just gonna get into random relationships with random so called "Christian" men to have fun and to have someone in my life. So that's what I set out to do... until God convicted me.
I'd just ended an unfruitful relationship with a guy and I felt horrible emotionally. I remember thinking to myself, Is this even worth it? Getting in and out of relationships with a piece of my heart feeling affected or even missing? I realized how not so amazing I felt and God dealt with my heart. Why get emotionally or even physically involved with someone just because? In my case, I knew the guys that I was talking to were not worth my time and they were not the type of man I wanted to marry. So what's the point? As the Lord began to deal with me, He opened my eyes and I had a change of heart and actually promised Him that I would no longer waste time and get involved with men that I knew had no potential to be my husband.
Okay, But I'm Single
True. So first things first. Isaiah 54:5 says, "For thy Maker is thine husband..." If you are a believer then Christ should be your first love. Thus, over anything else, you should have a desire to please Him and make Him happy. You should seek to love Him, honor Him, serve Him and respect Him. Do our actions and behaviors as women show our Lord how much we truly love and revere Him? Are we respecting our first love when we are laying in bed with another man? Are we showing our love for Him when we are flirting dirty with someone who is not our husband? Are we honoring Him when we allow our hearts to be filled with lustful fantasies and images? These are things we should think about. How does our truest Love feel when we do and think those things? Is that respect?
Over the years, God began to help me realize that just because I didn't know my husband, did not mean that he did not exist. The fact is, God promised me marriage one day which means there is a man, right now who has been set apart and is being prepared by God to marry me in God's perfect timing. Thus, the Lord began to teach me to begin respecting my husband before I even met him. How do I do this? By not wasting time with men that I KNOW are not "the one". I find that with all men that have entered my life, I KNEW. I knew that they were not it and there were many days where I completely ignored that inward knowledge but that fact is that I always knew.
Respecting my husband as a single woman means that I am not flirting with men that are not my husband. Truth be told, I'm actually looking out for another woman's husband as well, by not messing with him when I know he is not for me. It's like going to the grocery store, opening up a container of yogurt and swirling your finger around in it. You lick your finger for a taste of the yogurt, find that it's not really what you want and put it back on the shelf for someone else. Really? It's so inconsiderate, right? Yet, this is what we do all the time. We're like the person who opens up a package of underwear to see if they will fit and leave the package half open with a pair of underwear halfway hanging out for someone else to buy it. (I don't know about you, but they do this alot in my city! lol)
So what does this mean? This means that any man who has not put a ring on my finger, does not get any husband-like benefits. You aren't "hubby" until you have said "I' do" and actually become hubby, honey. Why dare give another man something that belongs to my husband? It doesn't matter whether or not he is in my life at that very moment; the fact is that he exists! He is living, breathing and has a life of his own even though I may be unaware of it. So why not start being faithful to my husband now? Why not respect him now before I am even presented to him?
And yes, many of us have made mistakes and given bits and pieces of ourselves to undeserving men. However, it is not too late to stop and make a change. And it is not too early to begin respecting your husband. Think of how honored that man will be to know that you became selfless as a single woman and thought of him, loved him and respected him before you even knew him.
Follower of Christ. Wife. Blogger. Youtuber. Speaker. Mentor. T-shirt Designer.
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