Have you ever been in a situation where you were talking to or dating someone and the entire time you were with them you found yourself coming up with reasons for why you should stay? I know I have. In fact there was one time in particular where I found myself seeing tons of red flags and yet I kept trying to move forward. If that relationship was a road then I ran alot of red lights and we all know that red lights mean STOP! So, since they say hindsight is 20/20, I want to share with you what I learned from that past situation.
Preparing For Marriage Side Note:
One of the main things that I learned is the difference between being open and compromising. Throughout my journey of singleness I'd finally arrived to a place where I felt that God was finally preparing me to be a wife. I'd like to point out here that preparing for marriage is often a process. I speak to people who want to be in a relationship or want to meet "The One" but haven't yet taken time to assess whether or not they are "The One" for someone else yet.
For me, this process included investing in my relationship with God, pursuing Jesus, finding contentment in Him, getting rid of marriage as my idol, allowing God to prune me, renewing my mind, etc. Once God and I began the practical aspect of my preparation stage I knew he was dealing with my heart on being open. As a teenager and into early adulthood I had fairytale expectations of what "The One" should be like and I knew God was getting ready to change that.
I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge those who may be grieving during this Christmas season. This brief message is for those who have loved and lost, whether it be the death of a loved one or a hurtful breakup; be encouraged. I know that what you're dealing with is very painful & difficult right now, we've all been there, but I want you to remember that you are loved. As hard as this time is for you, you will make it through. Take your time to grieve and know that this will pass.
The true meaning of Christmas is defined by the birth of Jesus Christ. Isaiah 9:6 says, “For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
Jesus is your Prince of Peace. During this challenging an painful time, allow Him to be your peace and comfort. Allow Him to create peace during your storm. He came to heal your broken heart. Cry out to Him & let Him restore you.
Surround yourself with happiness & happy people who love you. Think on positive things. Focus on helping & serving others. This is a season of giving and focusing on bringing joy to others will help lessen the pain. Don't allow sorrow to fill your heart. Even during this tough season, you still have blessings to count. A year or two from now, you'll look back on this day & be able to acknowledge the positive changes that have taken place since.
You are not alone during this season. The pain will fade. It will become easier in time.
I'm praying for you.
I'm back with a topic that I've been thinking about for the past 4 months. Without any more delay, I'm going to get right to it.
Have you ever been very interested in someone but got the feeling that the feeling wasn't mutual? Have you ever gotten to know someone but something just felt off? Have you ever dated someone when you knew good and well that you deserved more than what they were willing to give? Throughout the course of my life, I know I can answer "yes" to all three of those questions.
I'm Interested But...
I don't know about you, but I've heard this alot in my past. "Ris, I'm interested but..." I want to encourage those of you who may be in a situation like this now. You can get better. I talk to alot of people who share their stories & issues with me regarding their love lives. I'm writing this for them & anyone like them.
Do. Not. Settle.
Let me explain. I've been in situations time and time again where I felt like the person who had my interest at that time, didn't feel the same way. The funny thing was the behaviors of the men I dealt with evidenced that they weren't completely "sold" on me, and yet somehow I always managed to convince myself otherwise.
Here are just a few examples of those behaviors:
1. As a woman, I always felt like it was left to me to initiate anything (calls, texts, spending time)
2. There was no clarity, I had no idea where things were supposed to be headed with us
3. The guy(s) didn't call me much & I always felt like I was bothering him when I reached out first
4. His text messages consisted of "Hey." and nothing more
5. I always felt like I had to work overtime just to get a conversation out of him
6. He never put in any effort
7. Never pursued me or sought quality time with me
8. I was quite sure that if I stopped reaching out to him, we would never talk again because he wouldn't do anything about it
9. There was never any progression toward a serious relationship
10. He left me feeling confusion and/or anxiety, stress or unhappiness
I even had one situation in which someone told me "I don't know what I want. I'm trying to figure out if I like you or not but why wouldn't I like you? You're amazing so is there something wrong with me?" #ByeFelicia
Follower of Christ. Wife. Blogger. Youtuber. Speaker. Mentor. T-shirt Designer.
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