I just had to write this blog because it's been on my heart for a while. This blog will be very transparent so brace yourself. Recently, I've had the opportunity to meet many new and wonderful people who are single and I've had conversations with them regarding the challenge of being a single individual, especially a Christian Single. As a current single myself, I am so passionate about reaching out to others who are in my boat who need encouragement. Trust me, I know, we need encouragement sometimes and on a bad day we need encouragement all the time. :)
My Single Struggle
I'm going to tell you this because I know someone out there needs to hear it. For some reason, I find that many people who are single don't want to talk about the challenges we face. This leads us to a place of feeling like we are alone, like we are the only ones struggling and we keep the struggle to ourselves. Or maybe that's just in my world. *shrugs* It seems like it's every (wo)man for themselves in the lonely streets of singleness.
So for me, I recently had a solid period of time where I felt so low, unhappy, lonely and even depressed on days because of my single status. Yes, I am real enough to go there. It happens to all of us! I know what it's like to long for love. I know what it's like to feel like I'm the only one and that I will be single FOREVER. I've fretted once or twice at the idea of remaining single and by the time I get married I'll be so old that my libido is low and I won't be as good looking as I am now. ;-) I've wondered if I'd ever get married at all because after all, Jesus is coming back soon. It's real, I've had those thoughts! I've seen couples out there holding hands & kissing and being happy and in love while I'm sitting there with a blank stare. I've heard the love songs played in the store only to remember dryly that I still don't have anyone special in my life. I've been let go of by men that told me I was "the one" only to be left devastated and curled in a ball in my bed willing the world to end. I've had people constantly ask me if I was seeing someone yet. I've questioned God on what's taking so doggone long. I've watched all my childhood friends get married and have babies. I've been invited to weddings and I've been the bridesmaid and not yet a bride. And if you can relate to any of these, you are not alone!! I understand!
So back to this season. This season of loneliness was a dark place in my life that lasted for about 28 days straight. It seemed that everyday I woke up was a rainy day, both figuratively and literally (I live in Florida lol) I prayed most days but honestly there were days where I couldn't pray. There were days where I had no words. There were days when I just sat before God, quiet, until the tears came and I sobbed in His presence. But I knew that would do nothing for me except make me feel a little better, so I willed myself to pray and get on my face before God and I asked Him for His help. I asked Him for strength because most of my single life I've felt like Superwoman. I was young, fly and enjoying my life. Singleness? I was doing the darn thing. But during that period of 28 days, I felt so far from that. And if you feel this way or have felt this way or will feel this way, please know that you are NOT alone, do not give up. Be encouraged. It is just a season and it will pass.
For those who are celibate or even those who are virgins (woot woot!!), why do we feel like it needs to be kept a secret? For some reason, we get the idea that we should be ashamed of it but I'm here to tell you that you should be PROUD of that. You know your value and your worth! You have enough strength and discipline and love for God and yourself to not give of yourself to any and everyone. You have identified yourself as a diamond and not a cubic zirconia. You have decided to be the fine dining restaurant and not the McDonalds. There's alot of McDonalds' in these streets but you are rare and precious so don't let anyone make you feel like you need to lower your price. Do not compromise because someone in this world is going to love that you are keeping it on lock until marriage and they will cherish you for that. Wait for that person. Everybody knows you can't walk into Louis Vuitton and try to negotiate on an item. The shoppers in there know they must come correct. So keep your head up and keep your clothes on. Wait until the right "shopper" comes correct and makes that purchase (marries you).
So what can we do when we hit a low moment in this single season? 1. Pray and keep your faith. Read your bible and find scriptures and stories about faith. If you need help, feel free to contact me on this page or at firstname.lastname@example.org. 2. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and encourage each other when you're low. 3. Be productive. As singles, we should be focused on kingdom business if you are a Christian. When you focus on God and His work and serving and helping others, your loneliness dissipates. Occupy yourself by meeting the needs of others. Serve in church, volunteer at a homeless shelter or nursing home, babysit a single mom's kiddos, mentor a teenager, cultivate your gifts and talents, study the bible. Be productive, stop being selfish (yea I said it, we can be selfish sometimes and you know it) and think about the needs of others instead of your own needs and you will notice that the struggle isn't as real as it used to be! :)
If these blogs have been a blessing to you, please feel free to contact me or join the forum on the Singles Only Page. Especially if you are a Christian Single. We are in this together! Let me know if you have suggestions or would like me to blog about a certain topic!
Love yall! <3
Follower of Christ. Wife. Blogger. Youtuber. Speaker. Mentor. T-shirt Designer.
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