Lately, the topic of finding the "perfect" person has been on my heart so I believe it will help someone. First, I must admit that I grew up with a fantasy-like mentality. I believed that love was supposed to be as it was in all the Disney movies. After all, Cinderella, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Mulan and many others found their perfect match. Even though they are merely cartoons, their loves seemed to be so perfect and handsome and charming and flawless and made just for them. Imagine the impact that has on a little girl's perception! As we get older, we see the same exact thing in movies which depict a seemingly perfect character being played by an attractive and seemingly perfect actor or actress. They don't have any flaws and their personalities are so sweet and dreamy but that's not reality!
THINK YOU'LL BE SINGLE FOREVER?
So as I was growing up, I developed a mentality of "I gotta find the perfect man." Needless to say, I was very hard on the guys in my past relationships, but rightfully so. Let me explain. I was hard on them because I kept seeing qualities and characteristics that I did not like at all. There were even times where it just didn't feel right and I knew in my heart that I'd met another one that wasn't "the one". I would end the relationship and they would get upset and a couple would tell me that I was looking for someone perfect and would be single forever because the man I wanted didn't exist. Geez! If that thought has ever crossed your mind, DON'T believe it because it is absolutely not true. You will not be single forever if God has promised you a spouse; so trust Him. There is someone waiting for you so keep your hope alive.
Now stay with me because I'm about to add some balance to this.
In hindsight, I am able to identify that much of why I ended my past relationships was because I was COMPROMISING! Yes! I was compromising which means that I was settling for things in a guy that I knew I absolutely did not want. This is why it is important to think about what you really want (non-negotiables) in a person. This step requires wisdom, maturity and fellowship with God. For example, a non-negotiable for a believer is to be with someone who has a personal relationship with Jesus. So if you meet someone who doesn't have a relationship with Christ and you decide to give them a chance- you are compromising. If you are not sure what non-negotiables to have, ask God to place His desires for you regarding a spouse in your heart. You'll find yourself praying for things in a mate that you didn't even know you wanted. Trust me, it works, it's happened to me. And of course, start with Christ at the top and work your way down, be it certain character traits, purpose in life, personality, attractiveness, etc.
So in my past, I was compromising in areas that were important to me and because I was compromising, I was much more aware of other flaws and imperfections because I didn't really like them to begin with. (That's a whole different story of it's own)
Please note: a non-negotiable should not be materialistic, shallow or vain, so use wisdom. Please do not write someone off just because they don't make six figures, have a perfect body or drive a Bentley. ;-)
THE PERFECT PERSON
So how does this tie into the perfect person? Well, we've got to understand that there is no perfect person. In fact, if you are looking for the perfect person, you are looking for Jesus. And that's okay, pursue Christ and be made whole. Once you've done that and Christ completes you, understand that there is no perfect person. True love involves two imperfect people in desperate need of Jesus who are willing to work together to serve a perfect God. So if you meet someone who meets your basic non-negotiable criteria and you are not compromising in those areas, give that person a chance and allow them room to grow. (Make sure it's a person who is willing to grow and continue to be changed by Christ) When this takes place, you'll find that you don't have the perfect person (no one is perfect except Jesus) but you definitely have the perfect person for YOU. Ultimately, that is what we want. Most of the power couples we admire started at the bottom and built and grew together to get to who and where they are now.
So I encourage you to allow Jesus to make you complete and whole. Allow Him to be your perfection and then prepare your heart for the one who will add to your life. The one that you can grow with, be patient with, show mercy and love them as God loves them. In growing with them you will find that you have found the perfect person for YOU. :)
Follower of Christ. Wife. Blogger. Youtuber. Speaker. Mentor. T-shirt Designer.
Subscribe to Get the Updates on New Posts!