I'm back with a topic that I've been thinking about for the past 4 months. Without any more delay, I'm going to get right to it.
Have you ever been very interested in someone but got the feeling that the feeling wasn't mutual? Have you ever gotten to know someone but something just felt off? Have you ever dated someone when you knew good and well that you deserved more than what they were willing to give? Throughout the course of my life, I know I can answer "yes" to all three of those questions.
I'm Interested But...
I don't know about you, but I've heard this alot in my past. "Ris, I'm interested but..." I want to encourage those of you who may be in a situation like this now. You can get better. I talk to alot of people who share their stories & issues with me regarding their love lives. I'm writing this for them & anyone like them.
Do. Not. Settle.
Let me explain. I've been in situations time and time again where I felt like the person who had my interest at that time, didn't feel the same way. The funny thing was the behaviors of the men I dealt with evidenced that they weren't completely "sold" on me, and yet somehow I always managed to convince myself otherwise.
Here are just a few examples of those behaviors:
1. As a woman, I always felt like it was left to me to initiate anything (calls, texts, spending time)
2. There was no clarity, I had no idea where things were supposed to be headed with us
3. The guy(s) didn't call me much & I always felt like I was bothering him when I reached out first
4. His text messages consisted of "Hey." and nothing more
5. I always felt like I had to work overtime just to get a conversation out of him
6. He never put in any effort
7. Never pursued me or sought quality time with me
8. I was quite sure that if I stopped reaching out to him, we would never talk again because he wouldn't do anything about it
9. There was never any progression toward a serious relationship
10. He left me feeling confusion and/or anxiety, stress or unhappiness
I even had one situation in which someone told me "I don't know what I want. I'm trying to figure out if I like you or not but why wouldn't I like you? You're amazing so is there something wrong with me?" #ByeFelicia
No one deserves to be put through all that. Listen ladies and gentlemen, if someone is for you and genuinely wants to be with you, they'll be with you. You don't need to convince them or ask them or beg them for their time because they will simply give it to you willingly. They will WANT to spend time with you. If he/she is genuinely interested in you or into you, there will be no question. You shouldn't have to put on your Sherlock Holmes hat to figure out if he/she likes you or cares about you. Simply because the one who does will make it clear to you. I've come to learn that people do what they wanna do. Period. If they want to spend time with you they will. If they want to talk to you, they'll reach out. It they want to hang out, they'll make it happen. If they want to be in a relationship with you they will be. So never settle for someone who can't handle such a simple task. Don't waste your time trying to solve this mystery that shouldn't really be a huge mystery at all.
Be honest with yourself. I'm pretty sure you know in your heart whether or not this person is good for you. The problem is that normally, we ignore all of that. I say this because I've been there. I'm just sharing what I personally have learned.
If you're involved with someone who makes you miserable or is pulling you away from where you are trying to go in life, why are you still involved? Remember your worth. Remember that you deserve someone who will gladly share their time & feelings with you. There is a person who can't stop thinking of you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone who will add value to your life, not depreciate it. Please, don't think for a second that you have to settle because that the person of your dreams doesn't exist. That isn't true. There is a heart that is meant to love you but you must not compromise and you must be patient. Don't make excuses for why you should accept less than you deserve.
Follower of Christ. Wife. Blogger. Speaker. Mentor. Youtuber. Helping women wait with class and prepare for God's best.
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