How to Survive Valentine's Day

 As Valentine's Day approaches, I would like to encourage each single person who may be feeling lonely or unhappy or inadequate or jealous or whatever. Valentine's Day is not a reflection of who you are or how much you are valued and loved. I remember many years ago, I used to feel like having a valentine meant that you were special and loved and appreciated. However, over the years, I came to realize that a stuffed bear, bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates are not indicators of my worth. As singles, we must keep in mind that our worth is determined by the fact that God sent His son Jesus to shed His blood and die on our behalf. That genuine act of love is an indicator of our worth! You are valuable, loved and irreplaceable.

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1. Get A Permanent Valentine
After college, I realized I didn't really have many valentines and year after year I found myself single during that time. My initial response was to count how many years I went single and valentine-less. However, as I continued to get older, I began to change my approach. I remember one year, I decided that instead of feeling sorry for myself on Valentine's Day, I was going to do something for myself. That year, I determined in my heart that Jesus would be my valentine. I spent time with Him in prayer and I read my word. I committed to focusing my time and my attention on Him and giving Him my love. That was the year that I bought a ring that I wear everyday, as a visual representation of my commitment to Him. To this day, I still wear that ring and I don't leave the house without it and I've had it for years. That year, Valentine's Day was memorable and I felt so much of the love of God that I was really content.
Since that time, I've committed each Valentine's Day to God and focused my affection on Him. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God loves you and His thoughts of you outnumber the grains of sand on the beach. He knows how many hairs you have on your head and He knew you before you were ever born. He loves you so much that He chose to create you and form you into exactly what and who He wanted you to be. You were carefully thought out and not a mistake. You are His masterpiece! You are precious!

2. Give Love to Get Love
After that memorable Valentine's Day, I decided to try something different. The next year, even though I still had my "permanent" valentine, I decided that I wanted to give love to others. I remember secretly planning to purchase Valentine's Day surprises for everyone in my immediate family. I figured, since I would not be getting gifts of love, then I should give them. I can still recall the excitement that I felt at the idea of secretly shopping for Valentine's Day surprises for my unsuspecting loved ones. That year, for Valentine's Day, I felt satisfied and at peace because I decided to place the focus on others instead of myself. Whenever we give to others, we feel fulfilled and set ourselves up to receive. Instead of throwing yourself a pity party, consider who you can serve and shower with loving surprises!

3. Don't Settle for A Flighty Valentine
Don't settle for flighty men/women. Just because someone is requesting your time and attention, doesn't mean they deserve it. A flighty (wo)man is someone who is fickle and irresponsible. They like you one day and the next day they disappear and a week later they are back again. These are the types of people who end a relationship with you, and try to reappear when they feel it's most convenient for them. Do not settle for that simply to have a valentine or someone in your life.
Recently, three different men sent me texts on the same day asking how I've been doing. I had not heard from any of them in very long periods of time which was an indicator to me that they really were not sold on me to begin with. I am a firm believer that if someone is truly interested in you, they will make it known to you and you won't have to play guessing games. If someone feels that they can walk in and out of your life when they so choose, that should be an indication that they are flighty. You are worth more than a flighty romance! Wait for the one who recognizes you as worth their time, affection and sacrifices. Wait for the one who is completely sold on you and doesn't leave you guessing or the only one putting in effort. Don't let one day steal your joy! Make the most of this season and remember that it is only temporary. You are worth so much more than a man-made holiday!

Love,
Ris
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