For those who don't know, I took quite a bit of a break from blogging because in 2018, I got married and relocated. However, I'm super excited to be back in a routine! As my husband and I prepare to celebrate 10 months of beautiful marriage, I figured it's the perfect time to write about how I prepared and allowed God to prepare me for my marriage.
Many people say that the first year of marriage is tough but what if I told you that doesn't have to be the case? While we are just about 2 months shy of our 1 year anniversary, I can say that it's been such an amazing journey! So, I'm going to share with you a few tips on how to prepare to have an amazing marriage.
1. Establish a solid relationship with God
This is super important. In order for anything to be successful, you need God. He should be at the center, the very essence of everything you do. It's important to have this relationship because it teaches you many things. My relationship with God helped me practice commitment and faithfulness through the highs and lows in life. It taught me submission. I learned how to slow down and listen. Yes, you can do all of these things with God. In my relationship with Him, I allowed Him to show me myself and change my character flaws and develop me into who He created me to be and He continues to do so. This is when you can learn what fruit of the spirit you need to grow more. Love, joy, peace, patience, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance are all things that are needed in a healthy marriage. You grow in these areas when you spend time with God and His Word and allow Him to work in your heart.
2. Adjust your mindset
If you want to be a spouse, you've got to begin to think like a spouse. In marriage, it's not all about you and you will not get your way all the time. I mentally prepared myself for these facts and worked to make the necessary adjustments before getting married. There is no room for selfishness in a healthy, godly marriage. You have to go into your marriage ready and willing to give, serve, love unconditionally and make sacrifices. Please do not go into it only thinking about what you want to receive.
3. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
I cannot stress the importance of communication, enough! This is super important! You and your spouse will need to communicate about everything. Before getting married, you need to talk about your values, beliefs, boundaries, goals, vision, financial habits and so much more. Communication doesn't end after you say "I do". In marriage, you'll still need to talk about your feelings, strengths/weaknesses, celebrations/concerns, money, sex, daily schedules/plans, etc. Communication never ends, and as far as I'm concerned, you can't over-communicate. If you're stopping at the gas station before heading home, why not send a quick text letting your spouse know that? My husband, Ja'Van and I talk about everything- nothing is off limits.
I also want to note that the way you communicate is huge too. Our speech should be kind, gentle, patient and loving. In my house, we watch our tone and make sure we don't communicate with an attitude, silent treatments or clap-backs. We communicate with kindness, love and respect and anything opposite of that is unacceptable. The way that you communicate will either build your spouse up or tear him down. Your goal is to build him up always, and if you mess up, forgive and genuinely apologize quickly so you don't go to bed angry.
4. Be Intimate Daily
Yes, I recommend daily! However, intimacy means different things for different people. In essence, intimacy entails closeness, privacy and coziness and of course often times sexual intimacy. I believe that you make time for what is important to you. Spending time being close and private and even sexual with your spouse daily is very important, so be sure to schedule time for it each day. Yes, sometimes we have rough, long exhausting days and full time jobs and responsibilities but it's shouldn't be enough reason to not set aside time with your spouse. We don't allow "tired" to be an excuse to skip out on such an important time for us and our marriage, especially not early in a marriage.
So, those are my top 4 tips on how to have an amazing marriage! Of course, this is not everything but these are definitely ones that I believe are very key and make a big difference. I love getting questions so if you have questions or would like me to address certain topics in my blogs, let me know. You can send me a message here on my website or find me on IG: mrs.larissaj
I look forward to chatting with you again soon!
Follower of Christ. Wife. Blogger. Youtuber. Speaker. Mentor. T-shirt Designer.
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