I'm very excited to share today's blog with you! I post alot of content surrounding Jesus, relationships and lifestyle on my Youtube Channel, as well as here on my blog. I will work on posting more regularly here on my website, so stay tuned. In case you didn't know, I'm all about godly relationships that lead to godly marriages that bring God glory which means, you will see alot of my content with that focus in mind.
Today, I am sharing with you my biggest tip to preparing for a godly relationship that leads to a godly marriage. It's only one (loaded) tip! Can you believe that?! My expertise comes from many years of reading about & researching relationships, taking courses, attending webinars, observing successful relationships and marriages, as well as unsuccessful ones, and of course, cultivating my own godly relationship that led to a beautiful godly marriage. You can find more of my story here and on my Youtube Channel.
To me, the best way to prepare for a godly relationship that leads to a godly marriage is to INVEST IN YOURSELF, but hear me out! This is a very loaded statement. I don't mean to invest in yourself in a selfish, prideful or narcissistic way. Invest in yourself means to invest first in your spiritual self. Now, because I am a Christian/Believer, my tips and suggestions are always founded on biblical principals. Investing in yourself spiritually means spending time reading your bible, establishing a genuine relationship with the Lord, memorizing scripture, guarding your heart, and feeding your spirit the right things- things that line up with God's word. You want to work toward living in a way that pleases God, and becoming completely satisfied in Christ.
Now, this is key: LIVE ACCORDING TO THE WORD. The Bible has so much wisdom, instruction, and guidance, so it is important that we take heed to it. Galatians 5 teaches us about the fruit of the spirit that we need to bear, 1 Peter tells us to have a quiet, gentle spirit. the Bible also instructs us not to engage in corrupt speech, and to be careful with our words because death & life are in the power of the tongue. It speaks on avoiding all appearances of evil, and fleeing fornication. When we live based on the Word of God, we reap great results. Many people neglect this very important step and allow selfishness, flesh, worldliness, sin, lack of peace, lack of joy, etc. to set in and it causes issues. Bearing good fruit is the key to maintaining a successful godly relationship, and without it, there comes the strong likelihood of unnecessary challenges, tough situations, and not so great results. The Bible gives us specific instructions and each instruction and nugget of wisdom is for a reason and has a purpose. We must become willing to allow the Lord to work in us and make adjustments in our hearts, so that we may be found pleasing to Him, and gain the ability to adequately serve our significant other/spouse, as unto the Lord.
Since we talked about investing in yourself from a spiritual perspective, let's talk about your investment in the natural. From a natural perspective, it's important that you take care of your temple (body) because the Holy Spirit resides there. Take care of your body, eat healthy, exercise, fix yourself up in a way that makes you feel confident while still dressing modestly rather than provocatively. Also, for women, it is important to remember that "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing...", so Sis, slow down, give it to God, and prepare by faith, by focusing on investing in yourself. God will lead the right man to you in His prefect timing, if that is His will for your life. Invest in yourself emotionally by allowing yourself time to heal from past heartbreaks, hurt or bitterness from past relationships. Work toward becoming spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy. These factors contribute to healthy, godly relationships.
If you are interested in watching my Youtube video on this topic, click here.
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I can't wait to talk to you soon!
Hey Lovelies! I'm baaaaack! I took a bit of a hiatus from blogging so that I could work on my Youtube Channel, Johnson Team Apparel Online Store and balance work and life and everything in between. Whew! I'm happy to be back to blogging though! I've missed you guys and I hope you've missed me too! If you're new here, WELCOME! :)
Recently, on my Youtube Channel, I shared How to Tell if a Man Wants You. If you aren't subscribed to my channel yet, I encourage you to pause what you're doing, and subscribe, so you can be up to date on my weekly videos!
So, how can you tell if a man really wants you? I'm glad you asked!
A man who is really interested in you and really wants you will do whatever it takes to make you his! I've seen it time and time again, in my own life as well as in the lives of others. Have you ever seen a man who is nonchalant about a woman for a while and then they break up, and not too long after that failed relationship, he's engaged to someone else? Crazy right? I always used to wonder how a guy could be so disinterested, nonchalant and apply little/no effort with one woman, and in a matter of weeks or months, be engaged to another woman.
The reason for this is that men know. They know when they want someone and they know when they don't. They know if they can see you by their side in the future or if you're just a short term type of woman. When a woman is a short term type of woman, she will find that he may not put in much effort or he may be slow to progress the relationship. However, when a man finds a woman that he is sure of, nothing can stop him from doing what it takes to make her his.
When I was single, I got to know plenty of men who were slow to progress the relationship, let me do all the work, didn't behave as if he was all in, made me play guessing games about his intentions, didn't keep his word, didn't spend much quality time with me, etc. Those situations always left me so frustrated. I remember one instance where I was talking to a guy for months before it fizzled out. Less than 6 months later, he had met someone new and proposed to her! I was stunned!
When it comes to my husband though, he showed me that he was all in from the beginning. He communicated clearly, didn't leave me guessing, stated his intentions, progressed our relationship, etc. My husband proposed to me 10 months after we started talking, (that's 7 months after we began courting).
Make no mistake about it, a man will do what it takes to make you his! He doesn't need help doing it, he isn't too shy, and it usually doesn't take him too long either. A man who wants you will make you his (if you let him, of course). So, if you have a man who is unclear and leaving you playing "Sherlock Holmes", it may be safe to consider that he may not want you THAT badly. Don't settle Sis! Believe God to send you his best in His perfect timing. Wait for the man who will do what it takes to make you his. After all, Jesus did it for you!
I wanted to take some to write a post for those who are saving themselves for marriage. That's right, this post is exclusively for virgins! This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart because I was a virgin until I married my husband at 28 years old. I know that sometimes you just need a bit of encouragement.
You Are NOT the Only One!
I remember feeling this way a few times and even now, I get comments from other people who feel the same way. Somedays, you feel like you're the only one that is single or the only one that is a virgin. However, I'm here to tell you that you are not alone. There are plenty of people who are committed to waiting until marriage to have sex. I know some personally, so be encouraged, knowing that there are others just like you, and they are experiencing the same things you are.
Is it Worth it?
YES! It is absolutely worth it! Don't get weary and don't give up because you are doing the right thing! You are special and rare and valuable. Carry yourself that way! You are priceless and you possess a great gift for your future spouse. I don't regret waiting one bit and if I had to go back and do it again, I would wait again. There is something so special about giving such a meaningful gift to your future husband. It's precious and it speaks volumes about your faithfulness to God and His word, and your love for your future husband.
But What If It's Not Easy?
If you are having a hard time with waiting, I'd encourage you to evaluate a few things. Take note of things you watch on TV/movies, what music and conversations you listen to and the people you are hanging out with. It's very important that you are careful with what enters your spirit through your eyes and ears. Music, movies, etc. will definitely impact your thoughts, behaviors and desires. Eliminating things that are sexual in nature will help a lot. Also, when you are out on a date, avoid compromising situations. Don't even allow yourself to be in a situation where you could be tempted to want to cross physical boundaries. This includes, being alone with the opposite sex in secluded, private locations, visiting his house alone, being out together late at night, getting too close/touchy, talking dirty, etc. Having boundaries in place will help make the wait a lot more smooth. Remember that God wouldn't ask anything of us that He knew we couldn't do. You can do this! With God, all things are possible.
Please feel free to share this blog and even check out my Youtube Channel: LaRissa J. for videos on virginity, love and relationships!
Hey Lovely, Happy New Year! I'm so excited to be writing a new blog! I took quite a bit of a break from blogging because I got married in 2018 and decided to focus on investing everything into my marriage. Today, however, it is on my heart to write about how I prayed for my husband long before I met him. I pray that this blesses you and anyone else who reads it! I created a Youtube video on this topic too, so feel free to check that out here. I'll be sure to make this blog more detailed.
To Journal or Not to Journal?
This decision is completely up to you but I have a tendency to write things down when I pray so that I can refer back to it when I need to. I kept a journal specifically for things related to my future husband. It was nothing fancy, just a hard cover notebook that I picked up from the store. In the journal, I included all my prayers to God for my husband as well as anything that I felt the Lord whisper to my heart. If you don't know how, it's important that you learn how to hear from God because this will be a game changer on your journey! If you'd like to see a blog or Youtube video on "How to Hear From God" let me know by commenting below or reaching out to me on Instagram @mrs.larissaj.
So, I started my journal in 2014, met my husband in person in 2017 and I got married in 2018 so this notebook has a lot of prayers in it. Now let's talk about the prayers.
Praying for Hubby
The very first page of my journal, I wrote a prayer to the Lord. Let me note that even though I write my prayers, I also pray them aloud because death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) Prayers are life giving so you want to make sure you vocalize them.
In my prayer to God, I simply asked him to guide my every prayer and I asked that my journal be inspired by the Holy Spirit. I didn't want to just make up random things.
Each day that I prayed, I wrote a heading. One day, I prayed that the Lord would prepare me and strengthen my faith. Another prayer, was about my husband being prepared by God for me. Other prayers, were about his spiritual well-being, character, protection, integrity, mutual physical attraction, etc. Each time I prepared to pray, I got quiet before God and allowed Him to lead me in what I should pray for. I'd like to encourage you to be specific with your prayers and pray for all aspects of your future husband's life. This takes time so it's perfectly okay to pray over a span of days or even months or years in order to take your time and pray accurately and thoroughly. Choose one specific area to pray for each day.
Will this Work?
This absolutely worked for me! However, I think some prerequisites need to be met first. You first need to be a believer and have a personal relationship with Jesus. (Romans 10:9) You'll also want to work on strengthen your faith if you haven't done so already. (Again, let me know if you'd like to see this topic appear in my content in the future.) I struggled with faith in believing that my husband existed and would find me so I really had to work on developing in this area and exercising my faith. (Mark 11:24) Lastly, you'll want to clear the clutter. This means that if you're hanging on to a guy because you don't want to be lonely but you know he isn't God's best for you, you've got to let him go. In order for God to bless you with His best, you need to be in position. Ask Him to prepare you for your future husband and make the necessary adjustments as the Lord lays it on your heart.
Were ALL Your Prayers Answered, LaRissa?
I'd say 99% of my prayers were answered! Minor things like an eye color that I was fascinated by when I was younger or a specific location in the country may have been a little different but who cares about those things, right? I have a husband for crying out loud! Also, some things I prayed for are things that may manifest later throughout life. Like, having local, godly friends to go on double dates with. (We both moved away from our hometowns and have to start over.) But overall, yes, all my prayers were answered and I believe that that is because I invited the Lord to help me to know what to pray for. So here are just 5 examples of things I specifically asked God for and He answered:
1. I prayed that he has a personal relationship with Jesus, be spirit-filled and live a lifestyle that honors God. (He does and did before he even met me)
2. I prayed that we be physically attracted to one another and that he be taller that 6'0. (He's 6'1 & the mutual attraction is real!)
3. I prayed that he would be a virgin like I was and would wait to kiss me until our wedding day. (He was and he did)
4. I prayed that he would be a great leader for our family and head of our home. (He is)
5. I prayed that he would set and keep boundaries in courtship, make his intentions known to me and ask my dad for his approval to court me and his blessing to marry me. (He did all of those things on his own without me asking or even mentioning it to Him)
It's super awesome to be able to go back to my journal and look at how God answered precisely. If my life were a movie, it would be like my prayers/journal came to life and became this incredible man that I now call my husband. I totally encourage my Christian sisters to do this if you believe God has placed the desire for marriage in your heart. Now is the time to prepare, Sis!
How exciting, one day, you'll look back and see God's goodness in answering your prayers with the manifestation of a godly husband!
Comment below: What qualities are you praying that your future husband has?
Look forward to seeing you in my next post!
Have you ever seen a couple where it just looked like one person was head over heels while the other one appeared to be unhappy or indecisive? Have you ever been in a relationship that way? Unfortunately, I can answer yes to both of those questions.
One sided relationships seem to be more common than we may think and sometimes we find ourselves in them without even realizing it. However, no one deserves to experience the feeling of giving 150% while their significant other contributes close to nothing toward the relationship.
Let's look at 6 signs that identify whether a relationship is one sided or not.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were talking to or dating someone and the entire time you were with them you found yourself coming up with reasons for why you should stay? I know I have. In fact there was one time in particular where I found myself seeing tons of red flags and yet I kept trying to move forward. If that relationship was a road then I ran alot of red lights and we all know that red lights mean STOP! So, since they say hindsight is 20/20, I want to share with you what I learned from that past situation.
Preparing For Marriage Side Note:
One of the main things that I learned is the difference between being open and compromising. Throughout my journey of singleness I'd finally arrived to a place where I felt that God was finally preparing me to be a wife. I'd like to point out here that preparing for marriage is often a process. I speak to people who want to be in a relationship or want to meet "The One" but haven't yet taken time to assess whether or not they are "The One" for someone else yet.
For me, this process included investing in my relationship with God, pursuing Jesus, finding contentment in Him, getting rid of marriage as my idol, allowing God to prune me, renewing my mind, etc. Once God and I began the practical aspect of my preparation stage I knew he was dealing with my heart on being open. As a teenager and into early adulthood I had fairytale expectations of what "The One" should be like and I knew God was getting ready to change that.
I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge those who may be grieving during this Christmas season. This brief message is for those who have loved and lost, whether it be the death of a loved one or a hurtful breakup; be encouraged. I know that what you're dealing with is very painful & difficult right now, we've all been there, but I want you to remember that you are loved. As hard as this time is for you, you will make it through. Take your time to grieve and know that this will pass.
The true meaning of Christmas is defined by the birth of Jesus Christ. Isaiah 9:6 says, “For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
Jesus is your Prince of Peace. During this challenging an painful time, allow Him to be your peace and comfort. Allow Him to create peace during your storm. He came to heal your broken heart. Cry out to Him & let Him restore you.
Surround yourself with happiness & happy people who love you. Think on positive things. Focus on helping & serving others. This is a season of giving and focusing on bringing joy to others will help lessen the pain. Don't allow sorrow to fill your heart. Even during this tough season, you still have blessings to count. A year or two from now, you'll look back on this day & be able to acknowledge the positive changes that have taken place since.
You are not alone during this season. The pain will fade. It will become easier in time.
I'm praying for you.
I'm back with a topic that I've been thinking about for the past 4 months. Without any more delay, I'm going to get right to it.
Have you ever been very interested in someone but got the feeling that the feeling wasn't mutual? Have you ever gotten to know someone but something just felt off? Have you ever dated someone when you knew good and well that you deserved more than what they were willing to give? Throughout the course of my life, I know I can answer "yes" to all three of those questions.
I'm Interested But...
I don't know about you, but I've heard this alot in my past. "Ris, I'm interested but..." I want to encourage those of you who may be in a situation like this now. You can get better. I talk to alot of people who share their stories & issues with me regarding their love lives. I'm writing this for them & anyone like them.
Do. Not. Settle.
Let me explain. I've been in situations time and time again where I felt like the person who had my interest at that time, didn't feel the same way. The funny thing was the behaviors of the men I dealt with evidenced that they weren't completely "sold" on me, and yet somehow I always managed to convince myself otherwise.
Here are just a few examples of those behaviors:
1. As a woman, I always felt like it was left to me to initiate anything (calls, texts, spending time)
2. There was no clarity, I had no idea where things were supposed to be headed with us
3. The guy(s) didn't call me much & I always felt like I was bothering him when I reached out first
4. His text messages consisted of "Hey." and nothing more
5. I always felt like I had to work overtime just to get a conversation out of him
6. He never put in any effort
7. Never pursued me or sought quality time with me
8. I was quite sure that if I stopped reaching out to him, we would never talk again because he wouldn't do anything about it
9. There was never any progression toward a serious relationship
10. He left me feeling confusion and/or anxiety, stress or unhappiness
I even had one situation in which someone told me "I don't know what I want. I'm trying to figure out if I like you or not but why wouldn't I like you? You're amazing so is there something wrong with me?" #ByeFelicia
Follower of Christ. Wife. Blogger. Youtuber. Speaker. Mentor. T-shirt Designer.
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